July 15 Update

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Wow...what a very true verse! I would like to share how God has demonstrated His living and active Word in my life today.

I have spent much time the last few days packing and going through things, some that I haven't touched since I moved here six years ago. Needless to say, it's been quite a journey down memory lane. One particularly emotional activity for me was going through all my old cards from friends, mostly from when I lived in San Angelo. Most of those precious friends are no longer a part of my life. I understand about life's changing seasons, and how some friendships also change with those seasons, but I still became a bit emotional about those friends who I've lost touch with and are no longer a part of my life. I was writing about this in my prayer journal with the Lord this morning, feeling some sadness about those lost relationships, when I looked to the bottom of the page and read this verse: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" Isaiah 43:18-19

On top of this, I have really been battling some fear and faithlessness over the past couple of days, allowing my human mind to question whether things are really going to work out for these next six months when I am essentially homeless and don't have clear direction on what God wants me to do. I have somewhat of an idea, but certainly nothing firm and for sure. That definitely brings anxiety to me and my "predictable, comfortable life" self. I was thinking this morning, "So this is what walking by faith really means. Taking that step out of the boat, blindfolded and trusting God's role as shepherd to lead me each step of the way." Along with, or maybe because of, the recent doubt I've been battling, I feel like various little trials have been put in my path, things that threaten to strip me of daily joy. Well, as I sat down with my Bible study today, I was amazed that the whole study was about God as the gardener, sometimes pruning our lives, cutting away things that do not draw us closer to Him. Sometimes this is painful, but it must be done for us to stay on the path with Him. One of the verses in the study is one that always gets me: "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

Hmm....I agree that God's word is living and active and that He is using His precious word to remind me of His closeness and guidance, even when I feel alone, even when I can't see the next step I'm about to take, even when my doubt clouds out the truth of His faithfulness. May my mind be transformed and my faith strengthened as I lean on His word and His ever comforting Presence.