Can I just tell you how amazed I am by the Lord.....
This past week was an emotional one for me, and I am sure the roller coaster of emotions will continue as more changes come and my departure date nears. I have the opportunity this week to have some "down time" and life is slowing down a bit as I stay at my grandparents' house away from the city, far from the busyness that has been my life for the past few weeks. I have already had some great reflection and rest time, and God is blessing me immensely!
Tonight I was thinking on this past year and how things have unfolded in my life. This time last year I had some boxes in my living room that belonged to a friend, and I remember looking at them and wishing they were my boxes with my stuff packed up for Botswana. One year later, I can sit in my living room and see boxes that ARE packed up with my stuff as I prepare to go to Botswana! I remember printing off the initial paperwork to begin the application process for Love Botswana Outreach Mission and feeling completely overwhelmed, questioning how this was ever going to happen. Now I am six months away from leaving and there is only a little bit left to do before going. God has moved in such incredible ways in my life over the past year. I was brought to tears today as I reflected on all He's done and the ways He's miraculously provided.
I am learning to come to terms with these conflicting emotions in me. Yes, I am going to miss so many things here...yes, it breaks my heart to leave my family and friends, my church, my job, and what is comfortable in my life. Yes, it is scary to walk by faith, relying solely on the Lord's direction and provision. These emotions are totally normal and to be expected. At the same time I can also feel incredible excitement and joy at the idea of being in Botswana for two years, because I have been given this amazing opportunity to minister to the next generation of believers on the opposite side of the world...I get to love on the hurting, being Jesus's hands and feet to people in a completely different culture than mine....I get to experience an adventure of a lifetime! I praise God for this calling on my life. I walk with Him, knowing that He hurts with me and comforts me when needed. I walk with Him and draw from His strength. I walk with Him and am filled with His amazing love and joy each step of the way. In Isaiah 6:8, God asked, "Whom shall I send and who will go for us?" I echo the words of Isaiah the prophet : "Here am I! Send me!." And as with Isaiah, God's response is, "Go". Therefore I will go with strength, confidence and joy with Jesus walking beside me and all of you here cheering me on and praying me through.
"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations...and behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Jesus's words to the disciples-Matthew 28:19-20.